Hearts and Minds: Chapter 1 - Reunion
Pairing: Kirk Prime/Spock Prime, Spock/Uhura, eventual Kirk/Spock
Rating: PG-13
Beta:
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Summary: When the Enterprise encounters a ship caught in the Nexus, their rescue attempt beams aboard someone unexpected; Kirk Prime. Kirk and Spock are forced to confront what their counterparts' relationship might mean for their own.
Words: ~3800/33000
“Message from Starfleet Command, Captain.” Uhura leans over her console, listening intently. She looks up. “It’s from Admiral Pike.”
“On screen,” Kirk orders.
Spock’s hands tighten involuntarily on the handrail. Dealing with the alternate version of Christopher Pike is not quite as difficult as dealing with the alternate version of Jim, but it is still a strain. In another lifetime, he willingly risked his career, his life, for this man – committing mutiny against his closest friend in the process.
Admiral Pike’s face appears on the viewscreen. He scans the bridge, and stops when he sees Spock. “Ambassador. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
Spock suddenly realises that he actually isn’t meant to be here. “I can leave, if you wish.”
Kirk turns in his chair. “Don’t.” Turning back, he addresses Pike. “He can stay, right?”
“I don’t see why not,” Pike replies, shrugging. “To get to the point, we’ve received a distress signal from the USS Archimedes – it’s a science vessel. They’re currently patrolling an area of space about 0.2 light-years from your position and have apparently encountered some kind of energy ribbon. The information should be coming through now.”
Spock feels shock run through him. It can’t be.
“The
“What about the
“Starfleet is hopeful that this won’t interfere with your existing mission.”
Kirk nods. “And even if it does, we can’t just leave them.” He looks round at Spock. “Right?”
Spock nods, struck once more with how much the young man resembles his Jim. Kirk turns back to face Pike. “Chekov, plot a course.”
“Aye, sir.”
Pike smiles. “Good luck, Jim.”
“Thank you, sir.” The viewscreen goes blank before being replaced by the familiar view of stars.
Kirk sits back in his chair. “Sulu, maximum warp.”
* * *
The first notice the crew gets that they are getting close to the anomaly is that the ship begins to shake suddenly. Spock grabs onto the handrail tightly and manages to remain upright. Some of the
“Raise shields!” Kirk barks from the captain’s chair as red alert sirens begin to blare. “What the hell was that?”
“Severe gravimetric disturbance,” the younger Spock reports, looking up from the scanner. “We appear to have encountered the energy ribbon.”
“On screen.”
The moment the phenomenon appears on the viewscreen, Spock is certain that he is right. After his own Jim’s death – or what they all believed to be his death – Spock made sure to read every scrap of information about the Nexus ribbon that he could lay his hands on, wanting to know what it was that robbed him of the most important person in his life. Decades later, after speaking to then-Captain Picard, he renewed the search, this time more out of regret. The idea that Jim had been out there, somewhere, and he had not known…. Spock is certain that there is no one in any universe who knows more about this phenomenon than he does.
“Captain, I am detecting lifesigns,” his counterpart announces from the science station. “There appears to be a ship caught within the anomaly.”
“That’ll be the Archimedes,” Kirk says. “Can we get a tractor beam on them?”
“Negative. Not at this distance.”
Spock moves round to the side of the captain’s chair.
“Uhura, attempt to contact them. Sulu, get us closer to that thing.”
“Aye, sir,” both Sulu and Uhura reply, swiftly getting to work.
Kirk finally looks at him. “Have you ever seen anything like this?”
“No,” Spock answers truthfully. “But I believe I know what it is.”
Kirk blinks at him. “Well, don’t keep us in suspense.”
Spock takes a breath. “It is known as the Nexus. The energy ribbon gifts individuals trapped inside it with their greatest desires. Time and space have no meaning. Decades could pass outside, while for those on the inside it has only been a few days.” He pauses. “The people on that ship are unlikely to thank you for rescuing them.”
Kirk considers that for a moment, then sets his jaw. “Well, they can hate me, because I’m not leaving them.” He turns in the direction of the science console. “Commander Spock, how long until we’re in range?”
“At present speed, 57 seconds.”
“Chekov, ready the tractor beam,” Kirk orders.
“Standing by, Keptain.”
“In range now.”
Chekov fiddles with the controls. “Got zem. Bringing zem in now, sir.”
“The ship appears to be breaking up,” the younger Spock reports. “Apparently our tractor beam has destabilised them.”
Kirk thumbs a button on his armrest. “Scotty, are the transporters functional?”
“Aye, ready on your mark,” Scott responds.
“I want you to start beaming out the crew of that ship, as quickly as possible.”
“Aye, sir.”
Kirk turns back to Spock. “So how do you know about this Nexus thing, anyway?”
“The answer will take some time. Perhaps we could discuss it later?” Spock is trying very hard not to think of one particular fact about the Nexus that Picard mentioned. Hope is illogical, especially this kind of hope.
“You mean when we’re not in a red alert situation? Where’s the fun in that?” Kirk grins, then turns in his seat. “How long until the ship breaks apart?”
“I estimate no more than a minute, Captain.”
“Shields at seventy-eight percent,” Chekov reports.
“Hold it steady, Mr Sulu,” Kirk orders.
There are a few tense moments before the younger Spock reports, “The ship has been destroyed.”
Kirk pauses before contacting the transporter room. “Scotty?”
“Eighteen, sir. That’s all we could get, I’m afraid.”
“Eighteen out of forty-two,” Kirk mutters.
The ship lurches. “Shields at fifty-four percent,” Chekov announces.
“Sulu, get us away from this thing!” Kirk orders.
“I can’t, sir! We seem to be stuck.”
Now this bit Spock does remember. “Fire photon torpedoes. They should disrupt the field enough for you to escape the pull of the Nexus.”
Kirk doesn’t even hesitate before giving the order. “Chekov, fire photon torpedoes.”
“Firing!”
The ship begins to move, and it seems like the entire bridge crew heaves a breath of relief.
“Sulu, get us away from here, warp factor one.” Kirk says.
“Warp factor one, sir.”
When they are at a safe distance, Kirk cancels the red alert and orders Doctor McCoy to meet him in the transporter room. He rises from his seat, moving towards the turbolift. “Spock, Ambassador, with me. Sulu, you have the conn.”
“Aye aye, sir.”
In the turbolift, Kirk turns to Spock pointedly. “So, are you going to tell us how you know about this Nexus thing?”
“I’m unsure of how much I can tell you without revealing details of your future.”
Kirk frowns. “Try.”
“Very well. In my timeline, the Nexus ribbon was first encountered on stardate 2293.276.”
Kirk’s brow furrows. “That’s more than thirty years in the future.”
“Yes. I am unsure why it has happened now – perhaps the red matter is responsible.” He pauses, shutting off the emotions at everything else for which the red matter is responsible. “The situation was much the same then as now: two ships caught in the ribbon and another sent to rescue them. One ship was destroyed with all aboard, the other remained intact long enough for 47 lives to be saved, out of 150.” He meets Kirk’s eyes. “Several of these did not wish to be rescued. As I have mentioned, the Nexus allowed them to experience their deepest desires.”
“But it is merely an illusion. Surely they would rather have had reality?” The younger Spock finally speaks up.
“Some would much rather live in a fabricated world in which they are happy than a real one in which they are not.” There are times when, illusion or no, the Nexus sounds an attractive possibility. If he were offered the chance to regain everything he has lost, Spock is not certain he would be strong enough to resist.
Their discussion is cut off as they reach the correct floor. When they enter the transporter room, they are confronted with a scene of absolute chaos. The people that were beamed over from the Archimedes appear to be solely human. Their behaviour varies wildly – some are yelling and gesticulating; some are staring around curiously; some are almost catatonic.
And then Spock’s eyes fall on a man standing near the back of the room, and his heart stops.
For a moment he is frozen, unable to move, his mind filled with thoughts that this isn’t real, that he is going mad. Because standing on the other side of the room is Jim Kirk. Not the younger version, who is currently assisting Doctor McCoy with examinations, but his Jim. And then their eyes meet, and the look of shock on the other man’s face forces Spock into action.
He moves forward quickly, barely noticing as he brushes past the crew of the doomed ship. Within seconds they are face-to-face, and Jim is looking at him with an expression of wonder.
“Spock. Is it really you?”
Spock reaches out and trails a hand down Jim’s cheek. It is real, he is really here, this is really happening. He can’t quite believe it, but there is one way to know for certain. He settles his fingers on the meld points. “May I?”
Jim is still staring at him. “You don’t have to ask.”
And with that, he presses forward, into Jim’s mind. It is nothing like melding with the younger version; all bright colours and sharp edges. This is warm, and safe, and achingly familiar, and a wave of pure joy and love washes over him. Jim. How is this possible?
I don’t know. I was talking to this guy – Jean-Luc Picard. He said he was captain of the
Longer than that, t’hy’la. It has been 94 years since you left for the Enterprise-B. Or negative 35 years, depending on how you wish to count.
I don’t understand.
I will show you. Spock concentrates on his memories; the same ones he once showed the younger Jim Kirk. When they get to the destruction of Vulcan, the compassion and sympathy flowing through the meld is almost overwhelming. Then he shows Jim the meeting with his counterpart.
An alternate universe. Created by time-travel.
Yes. The current stardate is 2258.308.
So that’s what you meant about the dates. The mental frown again. Picard did mention that the Nexus could take a person to any time or place they wanted. I guess it can do realities as well.
Then, teasingly, So, a younger version of me. You weren’t even a little tempted?
It is impossible to lie in a mindmeld. Briefly, Spock admits. But once I touched his mind....
Amusement. Are you saying you love me for my mind, Mister Spock?
I love every part of you, Jim.
Spock wants nothing more than to stay here forever, but there are things that need to be dealt with. I must end the meld.
Wait. The bond. Pain, confusion. It’s broken. You have to fix it.
I shall certainly try. He delves deeper into Jim’s mind until he finds what he is searching for; a golden thread with one end drifting aimlessly. Very carefully, he locates the matching thread in his own mind and joins them together before easing out of the meld. The rush of joy he feels at the continuing presence in the back of his mind is too big for his currently fragile controls.
“You’re smiling,” Jim says with a kind of awe.
“The cause is sufficient,” Spock tells him, not bothering to stop himself. He has lived for so long without the other half of his soul that he has almost forgotten what it feels like to be whole.
Jim looks past him at the rest of the room. “We appear to be attracting some attention.”
Spock schools his expression into some semblance of neutrality and turns around. Jim is right: several people are staring at them.
Kirk and the younger Spock approach at that moment. “Do you two know each other?” Kirk asks with evident interest.
Before Spock can answer, Jim holds out his hand with a grin. “Captain James T. Kirk; pleased to meet you.”
Kirk stares for a moment. “Funny - that was going to be my line.”
“This is the James Kirk from my reality,” Spock tells him.
Kirk blinks. “Okay; this is going to be tough to explain to Starfleet….”
“I was under the impression that the James Kirk of your reality was dead,” the younger Spock cuts in.
So was I.
What, you’re the only one who gets to come back from the dead?
Spock shoots Jim a look and then turns to address his counterpart. “I believed he was. He was trapped in the Nexus many years ago. In our reality, he left to assist in a rescue operation, but an echo was apparently left inside. And when your transporters beamed out the crew of that ship, Jim was brought with them.”
The younger Spock raises an eyebrow. “Fascinating.”
Spock feels a wave of amusement through the bond. He’s definitely you.
Kirk looks between Jim and Spock a few times and then sighs. “Is anyone else from your universe going to stop by? Because no offense to Bones, but one of him is enough.”
As if summoned by name, McCoy chooses that moment to wander over to them and start scanning Jim with his tricorder. “I sent the injured ones to sickbay, but we still have about a dozen people to deal with. Any ideas what we’re going to do with them?” He studies the readings. “You’re fine.”
Kirk looks at where the remaining refugees are standing in a group. “I’ll get someone to organise accommodation, then contact Starfleet. I’m assuming we’ll drop them off at the nearest starbase.” He frowns and looks at the younger Spock. “Which is?”
“Starbase fourteen, Captain.”
“Starbase fourteen, then.” He turns to Jim. “What about you?”
McCoy interrupts, “What do you mean, what about him? Isn’t he going with the rest of them?”
Kirk looks amused. “Bones, he’s not with them. This” - he gestures at Jim - “is Captain James T. Kirk. He’s from the other reality.”
McCoy looks at Jim suspiciously. “Are we sure about that?”
“My counterpart has vouched for his identity,” the younger Spock cuts in frostily. “It was, naturally, the first thing we checked.”
“You can do a DNA scan if you want,” Kirk adds.
There’s silence for a few moments as McCoy does just that. “DNA’s a match.” He looks from Kirk to Jim and back again, and then shakes his head. “As if one of you wasn’t enough.”
“To get back to your question,” Jim interjects, “I’d like to stay with Spock.”
Kirk nods. “Okay. You’ll probably have to share a room, anyway – we only have a few spare ones.”
“That won’t be a problem,” Jim assures him.
You didn’t tell them about us.
I didn’t want to influence the path of their relationship.
I take it they’re not....
No. But they have only known each other for 8.9 months. He decides to leave the discussion of Lieutenant Uhura until later.
“If you do not mind, we will return to my cabin,” Spock says to the captain. “Jim and I have much to discuss.”
“Yeah, sure.” Kirk turns to address Jim. “I’ll come by later, if that’s okay?” He grins. “It’s not every day you get to meet yourself.”
“It’s not exactly a common occurrence for me either,” Jim replies, then glances at Spock. “Shall we go?”
Once they have left their younger selves behind, Jim turns to him with a grin. How about we save the discussion for later?
Spock raises his eyebrows. An excellent suggestion.
They do not touch again until they are inside Spock’s quarters, both certain that once they touch they will not be able to stop. Spock only just has the presence of mind to set the door lock before they are kissing passionately and pulling off their clothes. Jim gently pushes him in the direction of the bed, and Spock goes willingly. It has been a very long time since he has done this, the seven year cycle aside.
He can feel Jim’s love and desire in every touch and, after being separated for almost a century, the sensation is overwhelming. He tries to hold out for as long as possible, to make it last, but it is not long before pleasure floods through him. And it is not long after that that Jim gasps and collapses on top of him. “I love you,” he mumbles.
Spock runs a hand through Jim’s hair. “And I you, t’hy’la. It has been… so very long.”
Jim shifts until they are lying side by side. “I’m sorry,” he says, running a hand down Spock’s arm. “I never meant to leave you. If I’d known what would happen, I would’ve told Starfleet to go screw themselves.”
“I should have been there. I should have looked for you,” Spock insists. Guilt shoots through him.
Jim moves his hand up to Spock’s face. “Don’t think like that. You had no reason to think I was alive. The bond was broken, right?”
Spock nods, but the guilt doesn’t diminish, and he is aware that Jim can feel it. “You had no reason to think that I could be saved. It didn’t stop you.”
“That was a completely different situation.” He looks straight into Spock’s eyes; it is reassuring to see warm hazel instead of ice blue. “I don’t blame you. And you need to stop blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”
Spock realises that he is not just referring to the current situation, and the guilt that has eaten away at him finally begins to lift.
Jim smiles. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a shower.”
Spock can’t resist a small smile of his own. “Yes,” he agrees.
Jim pokes him in the ribs. “You know very well what I mean.” He climbs off the bed, and holds out a hand as Spock sits up.
They are getting dressed afterwards when something falls out of Spock’s robes. Jim picks it up and Spock watches as his expression changes from curiosity to amazement.
“This is….” He turns to Spock, holding up the pendant. “I can’t believe you still have it.”
“You gave it to me,” Spock says.
Jim looks down at the pendant again. “Yeah. But it’s been almost a century. You really kept it with you all this time?”
“You gave it to me,” Spock repeats. “It was all I had left.”
When Jim looks up, his eyes are shining. “Does it still work?”
Spock nods. Carefully, he takes the pendant from Jim’s hand and activates the hologram. Spock has lost count of how many times he has watched this message over the years. When it finishes, Jim moves forward and wraps his arms around Spock. “We never did get to grow old together, did we?”
“It seems we have been given a second chance,” Spock replies softly, returning Jim’s embrace. They stand there motionless for a moment before Jim pulls away and, taking hold of Spock’s hand, drags him over to sit on one of the beds.
“It’s been a long time,” Jim says, carefully fastening the pendant back around Spock’s neck. “I’d understand if you found someone else.”
“There was never anyone but you,” Spock tells him. “Although my father was quite insistent that I marry again. In the end, Saavik and I came to an agreement.”
“Saavik? Really?” Jim asks in surprise.
Spock nods. “My first time after the accident on the Enterprise-B, she came to me. And every seven years after that. It seemed logical to continue the arrangement.”
Jim frowns. “So that first time… what would you have done if she hadn’t helped you?”
Spock remains silent. He can see the instant that recognition dawns.
“You would have done it, wouldn’t you? You really would’ve let yourself die.” Jim turns to him, eyes blazing. “For God’s sake, Spock, do you think I wanted that?”
Spock wills him to understand. “You are my t’hy’la. I didn’t want to be with anyone else.”
“And you were prepared to die because of it? Where’s the logic in that?” Jim shakes his head. “At least Saavik managed to stop you.” He is silent for a moment. “Are you still married to her?”
Spock shakes his head. “She is dead. A shuttle explosion five-point-two years ago. She saved fourteen lives.” He feels a stab of pain.
Jim takes his hand and entwines their fingers. “I’m sorry.”
Spock nods, lost in thought. For her part, Saavik seemed content with the situation; she considered it logical. She was considered a part of his family, with all of the power and honour that that implied, and she was free to explore the galaxy as she wished, as long as she returned to him every seven years. It was an arrangement that suited them both, and they did love one another, although he felt guilty, sometimes, that he could never love her the way she deserved.
“So what’re you doing on this ship, anyway?” Jim’s voice drags Spock out of his memories.
Spock gratefully latches onto this attempt to change the subject and begins to explain the purpose of the
When he is finished, Jim leans against him companionably. “You know, I seem to recall that your first attempt at diplomacy involved me and Bones being sent to a Klingon prison.”
Spock frowns; the situation is not one of his fondest memories. “Doctor McCoy did not stop complaining for some weeks afterward.”
Jim looks at him. “Did the peace last, in the end? Was it worth it?”
“Yes. The alliance between the Federation and the Klingon Empire lasted at least until I was sent back in time. By Captain Picard’s time there were even Klingons in Starfleet.” Spock gazes at him warmly. “You made that happen.”
“We made that happen,” Jim corrects. “I wish I could’ve seen it.” He sighs, then brightens slightly.
“So. Tell me about our counterparts.”
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