Ad Astra Per Aspera: Chapter 3 - Family and Friends

[lah_mrh]

Fandom: Star Trek TOS (AU)
Pairing: Kirk/Spock, mentions of others
Rating: PG-13
Summary: As he begins his second year at Starfleet Academy, Spock has all but given up on finding acceptance from his fellow students, convincing himself he's better off alone. First-year cadet Jim Kirk makes it his mission to change that, and ends up succeeding in ways neither of them thought possible.
Words: ~7600/31500

Finals week arrives before anyone is fully prepared for it. For the first time Jim truly envies Spock – Vulcan eidetic memory would be a godsend right about now.

He wants so badly to make his parents proud, to show Sam that Starfleet isn't worthless.

He's been studying hard all semester, but it feels like he hasn't really learned anything.

About the only saving grace is that all his classmates are in the same boat. They walk around like zombies, surviving on caffeine and as little sleep as they can get away with, and cluster together after each subject, comparing answers and commiserating over the more difficult papers.

By the time Jim reaches his last exam of the semester he is utterly exhausted, but fairly confident that he has at least passed everything. He enters the test hall with a sense of relief that it will all soon be over.

* * *

The headache starts halfway through the two-hour exam period. Jim tries to ignore it at first, concentrating on the questions, but then the pain begins to grow. Slowly, steadily, in a way he recognises.

He can't remember the last time he had a migraine, but the symptoms are difficult to forget. He manages to make it to the end of the paper, but by then the pain in his head has been joined by an insistent nausea and a feeling like the light from the ceiling panels is actually stabbing into his eyeballs.

As soon as they're dismissed he rushes out of the hall and down the corridor to the bathroom, barely managing to lock himself in a cubicle before he brings up everything he's eaten that day.

By the time his stomach stops clenching, the ache in his head has grown almost unbearable, and he slumps against the wall with a groan.

"Hey, man, are you okay in there?" The voice sounds slightly worried and Jim nearly groans again as he realises some random guy probably just heard him throw up.

"Yeah, just a minute," he calls, and reaches up to hit the flush. A few moments of concentration, and he manages to push down the pain long enough to stand and leave the cubicle.

The look the other guy gives him when he steps out answers his question as to whether he looks as bad as he feels. "You look awful, man," he says. "Maybe you should see a doctor."

Jim makes a vague noise and stumbles over to the sink as the other guy proceeds into a cubicle. He immediately sees what his companion meant; he looks half dead. His eyes are bloodshot, with dark shadows underneath, and the rest of his face is chalk white.

He drags his eyes away and turns on the taps. After rinsing out his mouth and splashing water on his face, he feels steady enough to try and make it back to his dorm.

It's only a few minutes' walk but it feels like forever, and he has to use almost all his concentration to keep walking, blocking out anything except the thought of getting back to his room and lying down.

Ben isn't there when he lets himself in, but Jim has stopped expecting him to be. He sets the window to opaque, blocking out the light, before collapsing on his bed, fully clothed, and curling into a ball.

He closes his eyes and lets the pain take him away.

* * * * *

Spock frowns. Jim said he would meet him at precisely 1600 to celebrate the end of finals. After the disastrous Halloween party, Jim has kept him away from large gatherings, so they made plans to visit the beach – an odd choice this late in the year, but Jim wanted to look at the water so Spock acquiesced – and then go to dinner. Except Jim is late.

Spock checks the time on his PADD just in case his time-sense is off, but it agrees with him, reading precisely 1618. Spock's frown deepens. Jim is never late, not without contacting him.

He pulls out his communicator and attempts to contact Jim, but there is no response. Concern pricks at Spock; perhaps Jim is not answering because he is unable to. The thought becomes more prominent as 1618 becomes 1628 and Jim still does not appear.

At 1645, after he has made three more attempts to contact Jim, Spock decides to go out and search for him. It is not a tremendously thought out plan, he admits, but he cannot just sit around when something is obviously wrong.

He starts his search at the lecture hall in which Jim was taking his exam, but no one has seen him since it ended at 1500. His next stop is Jim's dorm.

He signals for entry three times with no response, and is just about to leave when the door slides open. The room is in darkness, and even Spock's superior Vulcan eyesight has trouble making out the details. "Jim?" he asks hesitantly.

"Spock?" The word is a tired mumble, barely understandable. "If that's you, come in and for pity's sake close the door."

Spock steps inside obediently and lets the door slide shut behind him. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the gloom, but he can just about make out Jim's form, curled in a ball on his bed. "Are you unwell?" he asks, moving forward until he is at Jim's bedside.

"Migraine," Jim mumbles. "I get them sometimes." He shifts a little and adds, "What're you doing here?"

"We were supposed to meet," Spock reminds him.

"Damn," Jim says. "That's right. Sorry."

"You do not need to apologise," Spock says. "Your absence is understandable. I was merely… concerned for your welfare."

He thinks Jim smiles at that, but it's difficult to tell in the dark.

Spock stares down at him, wishing he had some way of relieving Jim's discomfort. He flicks through his mental knowledge of migraines and asks, "Is there not some kind of medication that would relieve your pain?"

"Yes," Jim says, a little sharply, "but I left it back in Iowa." He shifts again, restlessly, and adds, "Besides, they're pills, and I can't keep anything down right now."

Spock considers that. "Is there anything I can do? Perhaps get you some water?"

"No," Jim replies. "The only other thing that helps is rest, but my head hurts too much to sleep."

Spock tilts his head. Perhaps there is something he can do to help. "I can assist you in falling asleep, if you wish."

"Could you?" The words are filled with hope, with a slight edge of desperation.

Spock nods. "It is a Vulcan technique, quite simple." He hesitates briefly. "I would need to touch your face."

Jim flaps a hand. "Whatever. Please. Do it."

Spock steeples his fingers and concentrates inward, before reaching out and brushing his fingers across Jim's meld points. Sleep, he commands mentally. Sleep.

The effect is almost instantaneous. Jim's body goes limp, his breathing becoming deep and even.

Spock watches him, feeling a sudden intense protectiveness well up in his chest. Gently he reaches out and brushes a few strands of hair off Jim's face, and his breath catches as Jim nuzzles into the touch.

He pulls his hand away as if scalded and leaves, heading straight back to his room to meditate. Perhaps contact with a human mind, however brief, was not such a good idea, but when Spock thinks of Jim's face, relaxed in sleep, he cannot bring himself to regret it.

* * * * *

Once finals are over, Jim starts to wonder about Spock's plans for the holiday. He doubts Spock will be going back to Vulcan, what with the situation between him and his parents being what it is, and Jim doesn't like the idea of leaving Spock here alone while he spends Christmas with his family.

As it happens, it's Spock who broaches the subject first. "What are your plans for the holiday?" he asks, as they are grabbing lunch together in the mess hall.

"Going home to Iowa," he replies. "How about you?"

Spock's gaze grows slightly evasive. "There are some experiments I am planning to work on over the break."

"So you're going to stay here on campus then?"

Spock nods.

"Do you want to?" The question is out almost before Jim realises he's going to ask it.

"What I want is irrelevant," Spock says baldly. "I have nowhere else to go."

Jim considers that for a few seconds before abruptly coming to a decision. "You can come home with me," he says.

Spock blinks, looking uncertain. "Would your parents not object?"

"No," Jim says, "Sam brings friends home all the time. It'll be fine." He bites his lip. "Unless you don't want to?"

It seems like the perfect plan to him, but he doesn't want to do it if it'll make Spock feel uncomfortable.

Spock is silent for a long moment, considering. "I believe I would like that," he says finally, and Jim feels like he's about to explode with happiness.

* * *

That night Jim contacts his parents. He writes them every week, but it's still a while since they've talked face to face. He feels a slight touch of nerves as he taps in the code; he doesn't think they'll object to letting Spock stay with them, but in retrospect he should probably have asked first.

His mother answers almost immediately, her face lighting up when she sees him. "Jim! Oh, it's so good to see you!" She turns away and yells, "George! It's Jim!" before turning back to him with a smile. "How have you been?"

"Good," Jim says, smiling back at her. He's missed his parents these last few months. "Finals were hard, but I think I did okay."

"Of course you did," she tells him. "And we're very proud of you."

His father arrives at that moment, slipping into the seat beside his mother. "Hello, son," he says. "Looking forward to coming home?"

"Hi, Dad," Jim replies. "Yes, I am. I can't wait to see you all." He takes a breath and adds, "I wanted to ask you, is it okay if I bring a friend home for Christmas?"

His mother waggles her eyebrows suggestively. "What kind of friend?"

"Not that kind, Mom," Jim replies, rolling his eyes. He ignores the voice in his head that tells him that's not entirely true, and adds, "Remember I told you about Spock?"

His father frowns. "The Vulcan?"

Jim nods. "That's right. He doesn't have any family here, and no one should have to spend the holiday alone."

His mother and father exchange glances. "Well, I suppose that would be all right," his mother says. "Are there any special arrangements he needs?"

"He's a vegetarian," Jim replies. "Oh, and try not to touch him. I think that's about it."

"I've known a few Vulcans in my time," George says. "I'm sure we'll manage." He grins and adds, "It'll be an adventure. I haven't had enough of those since I retired."

Winona slaps him on the arm before turning her attention back to Jim. "When will you be coming home?" she asks.

Jim frowns, trying to remember his schedule. "Saturday. Probably the 1015 shuttle, but we might have to get a later one."

"Well, we'll look out for you. And Spock." She smiles. "I must admit, with the amount you talk about him I'm quite looking forward to meeting him."

Jim hopes his blush isn't visible on his cheeks. "That's great, Mom. I'll see you Saturday."

"Love you, son," his father says.

"Love you, too," Jim replies, and the screen goes dark.

* * *

A little coaxing reveals that Spock has never been anywhere on Earth except San Francisco and a brief trip to Boston, so a tiny town in the middle of Iowa is almost entirely out of his comfort zone. He seems fairly animated by the prospect, however, asking Jim all kinds of questions about what he should pack, and what they will be doing, and whether his parents are really okay with Jim bringing a friend. (The third time he asks, Jim demands to know if Spock thinks he's lying about their responses, which thankfully stops him in his tracks.)

The 'what should I pack' question proves to be more difficult. Most of Spock's clothing is designed for more temperate climates than mid-winter Iowa. In the end Jim convinces him to pack the warmest, thickest sweaters and coats he can find, with the promise that they'll go shopping for more once they get there.

Saturday arrives almost before Jim realises it. He rolls out of bed at 0830, wishing Spock hadn't insisted on getting the 1015 shuttle. Ben, who is actually around for once, rouses long enough to mumble, "Have a good trip," before pulling the blanket over his head and going back to sleep.

He feels more awake once he's showered and dressed, and is outside Spock's room, bulging duffle bag in hand, at precisely 0915. Spock opens the door looking considerably more awake and well-presented than anyone has the right to be this early on a Saturday.

"You got everything?" Jim asks, as Spock steps out into the hallway.

Spock raises an eyebrow. "I would not be leaving if I did not." He pulls the strap of his bag onto his shoulder and adds almost inaudibly, "I made a list."

"So did I," Jim admits amiably. "Sam always said it was weird, but it made sure I never forgot anything." He carefully avoids thinking about some of the other lists he's made. "We'd better go if we're going to catch the shuttle."

They arrive at the station with time to spare. They already have tickets – Spock insisted on paying for his over Jim's protests – so they check the schedule and head directly for Bay 15.

The station is busy, people of all species rushing frantically to catch their shuttles. Jim notices Spock shifting a little closer to him as they walk and shoots a worried glance at him, but Spock isn't showing any signs of distress so he lets it go.

It takes them several minutes to reach Bay 15, and the shuttle is already there when they arrive. They climb on board and stow their bags before sitting down. "Are you excited?" Jim asks, rubbing his hands together with glee.

"Excitement is an emotion," Spock tells him, but Jim doesn't miss the glint in his eye as the shuttle takes off.

It's an hour ride to Des Moines, followed by a fifteen minute ride to Riverside, and a ten minute walk to Jim's house. It's snowing when they get to Riverside and, even wearing his very thickest clothes, Spock quickly begins to look uncomfortable. By the time they arrive at Jim's house, his lips have turned an unhealthy shade of green and Jim's joy at seeing his parents again takes a backseat to getting Spock warm as fast as possible.

"Hi, Mom, hi, Dad, this is Spock," he says, pushing Spock past them and into the heat of the house. He sees a fire burning in the living room and sends Spock off to warm up before turning to give his parents a proper greeting.

His mother pulls him in for a hug and whispers sternly, "You made a Vulcan walk half a mile in the snow?"

"Good to see you too, Mom," Jim replies. He sneaks a glance at Spock, who has positioned himself as close to the fire as to be practically in it, and adds, "I know, I should have gotten a taxi, but I didn't think it'd be that bad. I'll know better next time."

"I hope so," Winona says. She runs her hands down his arms and smiles. "It's good to see you."

"Hasn't been the same without you these last few months," George adds, and Jim finds himself having to blink back tears.

"Thanks, Mom, Dad. It's good to see you too. Come meet Spock." He leads them into the living room.

"Spock, these are my parents."

Spock uncurls himself and stands. "Dr Kirk, Admiral Kirk. It is nice to make your acquaintance."

Winona smiles. "George and Winona, please." At Spock's nod, she adds, "Jim's told us so much about you."

Spock looks vaguely surprised at that. "Indeed?"

"Yes, and if you're as good a friend to him as he makes out, then you're very welcome to stay here." Her smile grows broader. "I'm glad he has someone watching out for him."

Spock looks somewhat nonplussed. "I see. In that case I will… continue to watch out for him."

George and Winona sit down on the couch opposite the fire. Jim hesitates for a moment, then settles himself in front of the fire. As he intended, Spock sits beside him, after first removing his coat and setting it aside. He seems slightly more comfortable now that they're indoors, but he's still several shades paler than he should be.

"So, Jim tells us you're on the science track?" Winona asks Spock. "I was, too."

"Yes," Spock says. "Jim told me."

She looks pleased. "I hoped Jim would follow in my footsteps, but he takes after his father." She leans forward, intent on Spock. "What exactly are you studying?"

Before long the two of them are deep in discussion on the merits of J'Kal's paper on… something about exobiology. Jim likes to think he's a fairly smart guy, but after a few sentences he gives up on the idea of understanding their discussion and just watches the back and forth. From his father's expression, he's pretty sure he's doing the same.

After a few moments Jim stands and goes over to his father. "They seem to be hitting it off," he says.

His father nods, not taking his eyes off the vigorous debate. "I don't think I've seen your mother this animated in years."

Winona laughs, suddenly, clapping her hands on her knees. "Oh, I'm glad Jim thought to bring you," she says. "Most people round here don't even know who J'Kal is."

Spock ducks his head shyly. "I, too, found the discussion stimulating," he says quietly.

She claps her hands again. "Well, in that case, what did you think of-"

George cuts her off. "Win, let the poor boy settle in before you start hounding him."

Her eyes widen. "Oh, you're right. Where are my manners?" She glances at Jim, then at Spock. "Would you boys like something to drink?"

"I'll have a coffee, please," Jim says.

Spock looks uncertain. "Do you have tea?" he asks.

"We've got a whole bunch of teas," Winona replies. She begins ticking them off on her fingers. "Let's see, we've got black, green, ginger, camomile, lemon…"

"Camomile," Spock says, then adds after a moment, "Please."

She smiles. "Coming right up."

"I'll help you," George says, and follows her into the kitchen, leaving Jim and Spock alone.

"So what do you think?" Jim asks, settling down again next to Spock.

"They seem kind," Spock says, but his gaze is fixed on a patch of floor by Jim's knee. "You are very fortunate."

Jim has to force down a sudden rush of anger at Spock's parents. It's obvious he still thinks he doesn't deserve to be happy and loved the way children should be. He reins it in firmly and settles for laying a comforting hand on Spock's knee. "They really like you," he says. "Just like I knew they would."

Spock looks at him, then, as if he can't quite believe Jim is serious. But before Jim can say more, his father comes back into the room and the moment is lost.

* * *

After they've finished their drinks, Jim takes Spock upstairs to show him their room. "I hope you don't mind," he says, as he dumps his bag in the corner and turns to survey the room. "I know you don't normally have a roommate."

The room has barely changed since he left for Starfleet almost four months ago, and Jim feels a brief pang of nostalgia. The only difference from his memories is the camp-bed set up on the other side of the room, and even that evokes memories of when he was a kid, having sleepovers with his friends.

"I do not mind," Spock says, bringing Jim back to the present. "Sharing a room with a… friend… is a different matter from sharing with a stranger."

Jim smiles. He knows they're friends, but Spock doesn't often come out and say it. "I'm glad you think so." He closes the door and gestures to the lock. "If you want some time alone, to meditate or whatever, just lock the door. I won't mind." He considers that for a moment and adds, "Well, unless it's the middle of the night or something."

"I do not believe that will be necessary, but I shall keep it in mind," Spock says. "Thank you."

"No problem," Jim says. "Are you okay with the camp-bed, or-"

"It will be fine," Spock says. He hesitates briefly, then asks, "Will your brother be staying here?"

Jim frowns, the thought of Sam chasing away his good mood. "Yes, but only for a few days. He arrives on Tuesday and leaves on Saturday. With any luck we'll barely see him."

His gaze catches on a stray controller peeking out from under his bed and thoughts of Sam are forgotten as an idea hits him. "Hey, Spock," he says, feeling a grin spread across his face, "do you know what video games are?"

* * * * *

Spock has never played a 'video game' before. In some ways it is similar to the simulations he has worked through in lessons, but with much less realistic tasks to perform.

In this one, for example, he is piloting an air-car around a track, attempting to complete a pre-set course faster than Jim. That in itself is not strange, but apparently he is expected to do this while collecting brightly coloured blobs that perform a variety of bizarre and interesting functions, and attempting to avoid the hazards created by Jim's brightly coloured blobs.

But Jim's enthusiasm is infectious and, despite the illogical nature of the game, Spock soon becomes engrossed. He is does not realise how much time has passed until Jim's mother comes up to ask if they want any lunch.

Jim immediately pauses the game and leaps up. "I'm starving," he says. "What are we having?"

"Just sandwiches," Winona replies. "I didn't know when you boys were going to get here, so I didn't want to make anything too elaborate."

"That's fine," Jim says. "I'm sure it's still miles better than cafeteria food."

Spock follows him down to the kitchen. Jim's father is already there, sitting at the table with a half-eaten sandwich in one hand and a PADD in the other. He glances up as they walk in and gestures at a loaf of bread and selection of fillings laid out on the side. "Help yourselves," he says, before going back to his reading.

Jim piles his sandwich with what looks like a little of everything. When he finally tops it with the second slice of bread it is about two inches high and Spock wonders idly how he intends to eat it. For himself, he surveys the options on offer – many of them meats of some kind – and confines himself to two slices of unusually yellow cheese and some lettuce.

They sit down at the table with their sandwiches and a glass of water each. Spock takes a bite of his sandwich and is pleasantly surprised by the taste of the cheese. He watches as Jim wrestles with his own giant sandwich, coming up from a bite with mayonnaise daubed across his nose. "I've missed this," he says happily, before digging in for another bite. His mother rolls her eyes, smiling, and hands him a cloth.

As they are eating, Spock hears a rattling sound coming from the back door, and looks over at to see a black and white cat strolling across the floor. The next moment Jim is out of his seat, crouching down by the cat. "Molly!" he cries, scratching behind its ears – her ears, Spock supposes, given the name. "Did you miss me?"

Molly meows.

"That's right," Jim says, as if he can understand her. He looks up at Spock. "Do you like cats?" he asks.

Spock has never actually encountered one in person before. All his knowledge is from books. "I… am not sure," he says. He stands up and approaches slowly, kneeling down next to Jim.

"Just stroke her gently," Jim says. "Like this." He demonstrates, and Molly purrs, rubbing her head against his fingers.

It looks simple enough. Spock reaches out and carefully strokes the cat from neck to tail. Her purr loudens, and he strokes her again and again. It is a surprisingly soothing motion.

"I think she likes you," Jim says, grinning. He scratches behind Molly's ears and goes to wash his hands in the sink before going back to his sandwich. Spock follows suit, a little reluctantly.

"She must like you," Winona says, as Molly disappears into the hallway. "I've never seen her so affectionate towards strangers before."

Spock doesn't know what to say to that, so he just ducks his head and concentrates on his food. He is reminded suddenly of I-Chaya, and decides then and there that, yes, he does like cats.

* * *

He and Jim spend the rest of the day playing video games, then after dinner they watch a movie with Jim's parents. Spock is not much interested in the movie, but with Jim sitting beside him and Molly curled up on his lap, that doesn't seem to matter.

* * *

The next day Jim insists on taking him shopping for warmer clothes. The thought of going back out into the cold is extremely unappealing, but Jim refuses to take no for an answer.

"You're going to have to go outside at some point," he points out, "and when you do you're going to need proper clothes."

"That would be a good argument," Spock replies, "were it not for the fact that in order to purchase these clothes I will first have to go outside."

Jim sighs. "There's a mall around fifty miles from here. I was going to suggest we take the air-car and spend the day there. And it's all inside, so you won't get cold."

"Oh," Spock says, considering Jim's words. "That would be acceptable."

Jim shakes his head with a laugh. "You really need to learn to trust me," he says, but the fondness in his tone belies his words. "C'mon, grab your things and let's go."

Spock is mildly concerned when he learns that Jim intends to drive them himself, but it turns out he approaches driving with the same care and diligence he does everything else. Spock stares out the window as they fly, committing to memory the sight of frozen lakes and snow covered fields.

"Little different from Vulcan?" Jim's voice, tinged with amusement, breaks into Spock's thoughts and he briefly turns away from the window.

"That is one way of putting it," he says. "It is…" he trails off, unable to think of a word that does not have unacceptably emotional connotations.

Jim grins. "There's more you can do with it than just look, you know," he says. "When we've gotten you some proper clothes, I'll show you what else snow is good for."

Spock does not know whether to anticipate that lesson, or dread it.

The mall is visible from the air long before they reach it. Spock mentally calculates the size and is momentarily taken aback. He has come across buildings of that size, of course, and quite a few that were larger, but never one devoted solely to shopping.

"How many stores are there in this mall?" he asks.

"About 250," Jim replies. "And a cinema, a bowling alley, about two dozen restaurants, and I can't remember what else." He sneaks a glance at Spock. "Now do you understand why I suggested making a day of it?"

Spock can only nod.

The mall includes an inside parking lot proportional to its size, and Spock makes sure to memorise the area around them as they land. He has no wish to return after shopping and be unable to locate the car, and right now that seems like a distinct possibility.

Spock is hit with cool air when he steps out of the air-car, but it is nowhere near the freezing cold he felt yesterday while walking with Jim to his home. Between his coat and his Vulcan training, it is easily manageable.

Slowly they make their way across the parking lot and into the main part of the mall. Even with the chance to prepare himself it is a somewhat remarkable sight; stores stretching into the distance on either side, selling everything one could possibly imagine.

There are people everywhere, and he finds himself shifting instinctively closer to Jim. "Where did you plan to start?" he asks.

"I hadn't given it much thought," Jim replies. He looks Spock up and down and says, "I suppose we should start with coats. I think there's a store that sells them down this way."

He sets off to the left, and Spock follows quickly. The last thing he wants is to lose Jim somewhere in this sea of humanity.

Some time later, Spock has purchased the thickest coat he can find, along with a hat, boots, and a pair of self-warming gloves. The store personnel seem somewhat surprised to be outfitting a Vulcan, but they are professionals and do not remark upon it. Jim, meanwhile, has bought several pairs of socks, and a jumper with a ridiculous reindeer pattern on it. When Spock questions him on the latter, Jim shrugs and says shortly, "Present for Sam."

From his tone Spock infers that the ridiculous pattern is intentional, and does not question further.

They break for lunch at what Jim calls the 'food court', a group of restaurants and stalls clustered around an open area filled with chairs and tables. To Spock's surprise, at least one stall claims to serve Vulcan food. The chances of it being authentic are miniscule, but Spock decides to take a chance anyway and orders their Ulan soup. Jim gets a chicken salad from a nearby stall and they sit down together to eat.

As he suspected, the Ulan soup tastes nothing like the real thing, but it is pleasant enough. He is halfway through the bowl when Jim asks, "Is there anything else you need to get?"

Spock frowns, thinking. He cannot think of anything more that he needs, but Jim's comment about buying a present for his brother has sparked the idea of purchasing gifts for Jim and his family. They are letting him spend the holiday with them, after all, and it is only fair he repay their kindness. Besides, he would not put it past Jim to already be planning to get him a gift – as though opening up his home to Spock was not enough.

"Yes," he says finally. "But… would it be possible for me to have some time alone?"

"You mean split up to shop?" Jim asks. When Spock nods, he continues, "Yeah, I was thinking of suggesting that myself. Great minds, I guess."

He finishes his salad and checks the time. "Meet back here in… what? An hour?"

"That should be sufficient," Spock says. "I shall contact you if I need more time."

"Great." Jim grins and tosses his empty container into a trash chute before striding off towards the other end of the mall.

Spock finishes his soup as he ponders what to get Jim and his parents. By the time he disposes of his empty bowl, he has the beginnings of an idea.

His first stop is a store selling plants and flowers. His mother was always fond of plants, and from what Jim has told him, Winona is much the same. Spock browses for some time, studying the plants on offer and trying to decide which would be the best choice. He politely declines the help of several enthusiastic assistants, preferring to decide for himself, and eventually settles on a small green plant bearing red, blue, and yellow flowers. The Starfleet colours seem particularly appropriate.

Once he has paid for the plant, Spock heads off to find something for Jim. His original idea is to purchase something that will remind Jim of space, but then he passes a store selling a selection of coloured glass bottles, and is hit by an entirely different idea.

He stands there considering it for a moment, weighing up the pros and cons. His idea involves a piece of Vulcan culture that he is certain Jim is not familiar with, but the more he thinks about it, the more it seems like the perfect way to show Jim how much he appreciates their friendship.

Decision made, he enters the store.

* * *

When Spock makes his way back to their meeting point after finishing his shopping, Jim is already there waiting for him. He grins and waves at Spock as he approaches. "Did you get everything you wanted?" he asks once Spock has reached him.

Spock nods. "And you?"

Jim looks very happy with himself. "All present and accounted for." He checks the time, then glances around. "We don't have to be home for hours; do you want to see a movie or something before we head back?"

"I would not be averse to that," Spock replies.

Jim smiles. "Great. Let's dump this stuff in the car, and then we can explore our options."

Despite Spock's concerns, they find the air-car easily and, after stashing their bags in the back, they head down towards the part of the mall that contains the movie theatre, along with other diversions such as an amusement arcade and a bowling alley.

After checking out the movies on offer, they decide to go bowling instead. Spock has never tried bowling before, but Jim is willing – even eager – to explain. "I used to go bowling with my friends when I was a kid," he explains, as he shows Spock how to hold the ball.

It doesn't take long for Spock to gain a basic understanding of the game, and once he has a good grasp of the weight of the ball and the angles needed to hit the pins, he quickly excels. The first time he gets a strike, Jim cheers. He seems less enthused by the next ten strikes.

Spock finishes the game with a near-perfect score. "Do all Vulcans bowl like you?" Jim asks, sounding equal parts annoyed and impressed.

"As bowling is not practiced on Vulcan, I cannot say," Spock says. "But the calculations needed are not difficult. I suspect most Vulcans would be able to complete them." He glances at the screen, still showing their scores from the game. "Would you like to play again?"

Jim laughs. "No, I think I'll quit while I'm behind, thanks. How about we head home?"

Spock agrees and they make their way back to the parking lot.

* * *

The next day Spock has a chance to test out his new winter-wear, as Jim insists on taking him on a walk. Jim looks amused as he takes in the three or four layers of clothing Spock insists on wearing, but thankfully doesn't comment.

The blast of cold air when they step out of the house is unpleasant, but once they get moving it is actually not so bad. Jim shows him the fields – now all covered in snow – and the barn, and a frozen pond that he insists he and his friends used to skate on when they were younger.

"That does not seem wise," Spock says.

Jim nods, still looking at the pond. "No, I suppose it wasn't. But you don't think about that when you're a kid."

Spock has been called upon to understand and explain all possible consequences of his behaviour since he was four years old. He does not mention this.

"Are you cold?" Jim asks.

Spock is slightly chilled, but with his new clothes it is bearable. "I am adequate," he says.

Jim smiles. "Then there's something else I want to show you."

He leads the way back to his house, but instead of going in, he heads past it into the back yard. He stands there for a moment, hands on hips, surveying the snow-covered grass, before he says, "Spock, do you know what a snowman looks like?"

* * *

Some time later they have created a passable snowman. Jim did not seem impressed by Spock's attempts to ensure that the 'head' and 'body' were as close to spherical as possible, but the overall effect is quite striking. The snowman stands nearly six feet tall, and Jim has poked holes where its eyes, nose, and mouth should be.

Drawing on his knowledge of traditional snowmen, Spock hunts around until he finds two branches suitable for arms, and Jim laughingly donates his own scarf, draping it around the snowman's neck.

As they step back to look at their handiwork, a thought occurs to Spock. "Jim, what makes this a snowman, as opposed to a snowwoman?"

Jim just laughs.

The back door of the house opens before Spock can repeat his question. "Jim?" George Kirk calls, "Your mother says it's time to come in."

As they make their way over, his eyes catch on their handiwork. "That's some snowman you've built there," he says admiringly.

"Thanks, Dad," Jim says, stepping into the kitchen and beginning to shed his outer layers.

"And I see you gave him your scarf," George continues. "Afraid he'd get cold?"

Jim's cheeks are already red from cold, but Spock thinks he sees them turn a little redder at the question. "It's traditional," he says. "Besides, Spock made the arms."

George smiles. "I'm just teasing you," he says. "I think he looks great."

Spock takes one more glance outside before the door closes, and thinks that he has to agree.

* * * * *

Sam arrives the next afternoon. Jim hangs back as he greets their parents, as his mother wraps her arms around him. He can see the instant Sam notices him, how his expression goes slightly blank. "Jim," he greets politely.

Jim is halfway through forming an 'S' sound when he abruptly changes his mind. "George," he replies instead. Sam was his beloved brother, and the boy standing in front of him hasn't been that for a while.

He sees his parents exchanging glances, and digs his nails into his palm. He isn't the one who screwed up their relationship, and he's sick of being the one who gives in to keep the peace. If Sam wants his little brother's respect back, he can damn well earn it.

Sam's eyes flicker to a point over Jim's shoulder, and Jim realises he's almost forgotten about Spock. The Vulcan is standing just behind and to the right of him, close enough that their arms brush. Jim is suddenly fiercely grateful for his presence. "This is Spock," he says. "My friend."

He glances at Spock, almost smiling at the carefully guarded concern in the dark eyes, and adds, "My brother, George Jr."

Belatedly, he remembers he's only ever spoken of his brother as 'Sam'. Spock doesn't seem particularly confused by the change, but he makes a mental note to explain later.

Spock's gaze moves to look at Sam, and Jim can't help but notice that his expression becomes colder, the affection he showed Jim gone in an instant. "Indeed. Jim has spoken of you frequently."

Sam opens his mouth and then closes it abruptly. Jim is fairly certain he was going to make an 'all good?' joke, only to stop when he realised that Spock would probably answer honestly. Instead he turns to their mother and says with forced cheerfulness, "Well, I'm going to go settle in before dinner. I'll see you later."

He disappears up the stairs. Winona turns to Jim and starts to say something, but he shakes his head. "I don't want to talk about it." He turns, laying a hand on the sweater-covered arm next to him, and adds, "Come on, Spock, let's go play video games."

* * *

If Jim thought he could get through the week without having a confrontation with his brother, he was wrong. He barely makes it a day.

The day after Sam arrives home, Spock finally kicks Jim out of their shared room. He doesn't put it quite that way, of course, but he asks for privacy in order to meditate, and Jim isn't about to deny him. He decides to go for a walk in the back yard until Spock is finished.

Their snowman is still there, standing in the middle of the yard like a soldier. Jim smiles a little when he sees it. Spock's fingers had been green with cold by the time they finished, but he never once complained.

He's still staring at the snowman when he hears a voice from behind him. "Remember when we decided we were going to make the biggest snowman in the world?"

Jim does remember. He was eight and Sam was twelve. He remembers spending hours making a body taller than either of them, and being halfway through making a head before they realised they didn't have any way of putting it in place.

Things seemed so much simpler back then.

"What do you want, George?" he asks, not bothering to turn around.

There's silence for a moment, and he can hear the sound of someone shuffling about. "Mom says you're doing well," his brother offers.

Jim just shrugs, his eyes fixed on the snowman.

There's the sound of footsteps and Sam appears in front of him. "Dammit, Jim, what do you want me to say?"

Jim's lips turn upwards in a sneer. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe that you're happy for me? That you're glad I'm following my dreams? That you support me? You're supposed to be my brother, Sam!" In the heat of the moment he barely notices that he's slipped back into using his old nickname.

"I am your brother!" Sam replies. "That's why I don't understand why you're doing this. You remember how sad Mom got whenever Dad left. How he missed birthdays, Christmases, school plays. He missed my graduation, Jim!"

"Because he was out there," Jim fires back, pointing at the sky. "Exploring new worlds, meeting new people, seeing things that we couldn't possibly imagine."

"And abandoning his family in the process!" Sam stamps his foot. "I don't get you. If Starfleet hadn't screwed up on Tarsus, you'd have had the chance to be a normal kid. How can you join them after that?"

Jim takes a physical step back at that, feeling like he's been punched in the stomach. It's the most hurtful thing Sam has ever said to him; he's pretty sure it would've hurt less if he'd actually hit him.

Even Sam seems to realise he's gone too far. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," he says, but it's far too late for apologies.

Jim's vision blurs with unshed tears. "You don't get it," he says bitterly. "That's why I wanted to join Starfleet. So I can keep something like that from ever happening again."

Before Sam can respond, he turns and sets off towards the house at a run. He can hear Sam yelling his name, but ignores it, hurtling through the door into the house, up the stairs and into his room, locking the door behind him.

He strips off his coat, throwing it onto the bed, then flops down on the carpet and brings his knees up to his chest, running a sleeve over his eyes impatiently.

"Are you all right, Jim?"

The voice startles him, and it's only then that he realises he's barged into Spock's meditation. The Vulcan is kneeling on a mat about six feet away, but as Jim watches he rises and comes over.

"I'm sorry for interrupting," he says, attempting a smile.

"It is of no consequence," Spock says, eyes bright with concern. "Is there anything I can do?"

Jim shakes his head. "I'll be fine. Go back to your meditation."

To his surprise, Spock doesn't. Instead he hesitates for a moment, before sitting down next to Jim, close enough that their shoulders rub together. "I would… like to help," he says carefully.

It may be slightly awkward, but it's obvious he's trying to offer comfort, and Jim feels a great rush of affection. "I had an argument with my brother," he explains quietly. "It brought up some bad memories."

"Ah," Spock says. Then hesitantly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Jim says immediately, before the heat of Spock's arm against him makes him rethink it. "Not right now. But someday."

Spock doesn't say anything to that, but his hand moves to rest, very gently, on Jim's arm. Jim leans against him gratefully; he still isn't ready to talk about it, but sitting here with Spock, 'someday' suddenly seems a lot closer than before.

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